There is no doubt about it.. breaking up with anyone is hard. Nothing can really make you feel quite as bad, quite as selfish and just plain awful as a good old break up.
It dawned on me after a recent dump (the break up kind) that my resume in this particular area is really quite extensive.
I have dumped hairdressers, waxers, physio's, babysitters, house mates, boyfriends and well even the odd friend. How very cruel. It doesnt stop there - I have dumped cleaners, gardeners, personal trainers and once, in a rage of pre-natal hormonal psycosis, I even nearly dumped my husband.
And yet, no break up has really had me quite as nervous (or awful) as my recent experience of breaking up with my Obstetrician.
You can't just say you want to be friends or you have grown apart and you cant just not make another appointment. You actually have to have the conversation and in my case (as he had a particularily nutty assistant), I had to give a reason. A reason! Isn't it all a little complicated for that? I lied. Well, partially and said that I wanted a female Ob but still geez - it was such a hard phone call.
One that could have been avoided if we didnt have to rely solely on recommendations from other people when chosing a primary caregiver during pregnancy and birth. We really should be able to interview these people before we sign away the next 9 months to them. Or at least they should all have some sort information available on their etho's and general approach to Obstetrics. Most having nothing.
Anyways, none of that matters now as I have moved on and have found another Ob, one whom I am sure I will be very happy with. And as with, all good break ups that you know need to happen - I feel much better now that I have finally gone through with it!
10 comments:
Yay! I'm glad you found someone you're more comfortable with. Someone who will support you and nurture your bubba and... it really does sound like a break up, doesn't it!! You're right, though, a bit of information from caregivers on ethos and values in the public space would help us all out tremendously.
Wow Jess I literally had my jaw on the ground. That is a big breakup!
Wow!
I'm so glad to hear you've now found one you're happy with.
Who is it?
I would have gladly recommended mine. I loved him!
Come on you have to tell us more. How on earth did you do it? The cheats way via his receptionist or straight to his face?
yay. this is so good.
good on you!! Never never look back! When is your bubba due, do you know what you are having? Mine is due around Aug 26, elected not to find out this time so it's driving me slowly insane... if only for lack of decorating and costuming options! x
Reading this post made me feel uncomfortable for you! There is no easy way to do it, is there?!
Am so glad you now have an Ob that you feel comfortable with...afterall, this is one relationship in life you don't want to have any qualms about!
Jess, this was such a good read...you had me hanging on the whole time :)
Breaking up is such a sucky part of life ;o) I could relate so much to your post though....loved it!
Good job though....that's great that you've found a new Ob who who are comfortable with! Don't look back...the future is so much brighter ;o)
I'm pleased that you had the guts to do this. It must have been incredibly hard and I wholeheartedly agree with you. It's such a big part of your life to share with someone and you should love your obstetrician or at least love their ehtos and professionalism. It should be easier to shop around. I wonder what we could do to encourage the flow of more information on this very big issue.
Congratulations Jess - like the rest of us they're only human and need to be dumped every so often. You've delivered a reality shock to someone who probably needed it! A mighty effort from a mighty woman. Hope the new one is everything you're looking for, if not, then N.E.X.T.!!! xo
Good on you! I really wish that last pregnancy I had have changed my ob. Lucky he was on leave at the time of my birth! really happy for you that you found someone you like!!
oh good luck! I must say I adore my OB, one of the best in sydney and one all the nurses and midwives use. Sure I have to have c/s's but he's pro vbac too and is all about choice.
even when he told me there is no way my first little girl was coming out naturally he still said if you have your heart set on it you can go for it and give it a go!
good luck, yes its hard to do! I'm still nervous that I left my hairdresser of 5 years but am saving $85 a visit so can't complain!
Corrie:)
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