Whoever came up with this saying is either a maniac with a sick sense of humour or a hermit who has never had children, younger siblings or any exposure to babies in general.
In saying that, I must admit that before I became a parent this quote conjured images of sweet blissful sleep. An angelic baby sleeping soundly.
This is no longer the case. I laugh when I hear this... babies are not great sleepers! Sleeping is in fact an art that most dont actually master until they are in the throws of puberty and sleeping around 16 hours a day. Babies sleep in cycles of 45 minutes and then wake screaming...who in their right mind would liken that to blissful sleep?
Isobel has always loved sleep... that is when she is wrapped in my arms or cuddled up on my chest. Leave her alone in her cot and she will cry until I scoop her up or in more recent times until she finally sends herself off to sleep.
If you had asked me 5 months ago what my thoughts were on 'control crying' I would have told you that I felt it was quite cruel to let a baby cry and something I would never engage in. Now? now I realise that Isobel needs to learn to sleep (she is now nearly one).. that it is not something that comes naturally to babies and that I, as her mother, have to help her learn this arrt. Part of this involves sometimes letting her have a little cry (for short increments of time). Sometimes I feel like I am definately doing the right thing, that the other option is to always rock her to sleep and sleep with her. Other times I feel like its really wrong and how can I turn my back on my crying bubba?
I feel better when I liken it to a mother bird gently pushing there little birdling out of the nest when she knows in her heart it is time for that birdie to learn to fly (yes, strange analogy.. I know!)
What are your thoughts on this? To cry or not to cry? This can be quite a passionate topic. I strongly believe there is no right or wrong. Every mother and baby is different and you have to do whatever gets you through!
Image: Flickr
3 comments:
Oh yeah this is a very emotional subject!
As a mum of a bub who really fights her sleep I feel I've tried everything when it comes to bringing on sleep.
I alternate between doing what ever it takes to get Amelie to sleep to being wracked with guilt over her inability to settle herself into a blissful sleep.
I'm still not comfortable with the idea of letting her cry herself to sleep but I am slowly learning to understand the sounds she make and will comfortably leave her to protest (not cry!) and she will occasionally settle herself back to sleep.
I am mentally preparing myself for a tougher approach when she is a bit older.
Jess I used to consider myself quite a self assured person and this baby business has left me an anxious wreck. Motherhood is tough work!
Yes it is an emotional topic for sure and I could not let my son cry to sleep at all. We did have our nights where I got no sleep just so he could get some, because he wanted to be held. That worked for us. I know every baby is different and finding the 'right' way to do things is so hard...
PS - please let me know how Thurs went and also I have tagged you for a favourite photo meme - I hope you can play along!
http://nellbe.blogspot.com/2009/06/i-have-been-tagged-by-fatmumslim-to.html
With my oldest CIO never worked. He had (still sorta has) an incredibly sensitive gag reflex (among other issues, that needed months of therapy at a feeding and swallowing clinic to get him to be able to eat real food) and as soon as he started crying he would get hysterical within minutes, and that triggered the gag reflex and then there was puke. It wasn't fun, and he was a pretty high maintenance baby. He wasn't going to sleep on his own until closer to 18 months old, and he didn't sleep through until around the same time.
Then my second came along when my first was 15 months old, and when you have two so close together there is no other option, baby gets left to cry. He doesn't have the same gagging issues as my oldest so it was much easier to let him cry. And I honestly think it helped. He is a pretty easy baby to deal with and goes to sleep easily on his own for both naps and bedtime. While CIO didn't work for our first, it did work really well for our second.
I think it's a do what works for you and for your child. Every parent, every child and every situation is different, and you just have to do what works for you and ignore what others say about it.
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